Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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