ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize