jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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