mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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