she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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