I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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