I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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