I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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