You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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