I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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