Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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