My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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