i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
