Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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