I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
