Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
