So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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