And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
