I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
