Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
