I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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