So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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