69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
