yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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