dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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