Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
