First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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