Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
