i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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