i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
a search helicopter?!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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