fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Someone shit on the floor
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
