I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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