well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i barfeds in our rink
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
