Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
