I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she smelled like a LAN party
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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