Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
