considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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