it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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