You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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