Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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