he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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