i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
