I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
