i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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