what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
