it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
did you just send me my own nude
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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