Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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