I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize