Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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