it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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