dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
