So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
