It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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