The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize