i already hear my dad disowning me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
