so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize