it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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