i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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