And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
ugly people sure do ruin things
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
