How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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