sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
