at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
