The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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