we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
