Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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