my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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