hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
