whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
