I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
