He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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