how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize