I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
