You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
