So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I can't turn off my feet"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize