shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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