Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
