i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
