just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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