If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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