I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
