Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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