This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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