69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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