how can u be prego again
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
