He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
