She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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