I must be too annoying 4 u.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
